There’s a lot to love at the bottom of the Chrotchtangle this round. The first match is a tale of two upsets: Olympic skier Magnus Moan defeated Skylar Stormo in Round 1, while #14 upstart Ram Amandeep took out 3-seed Champion Jointer. Real talk: the deciding factor in this round will be a question of how many people are still wringing cheap chuckles out of Ram Amandeep.
The final Round 2 runoff sees Leo Moses Spornstarr facing his first real competition in the form of Carlton Crunk. Both names are winners, but one must lose. Who will it be?
The Sweet Sixteen begins next week. Follow us on Twitter!
Today’s contestants are the last of this year’s crop; from here, the playing field will only narrow.
First up is Carlton Crunk of Texas. We don’t know much about Carlton. With any luck, he wears a mullet — his name puts business in the front and party in the back. Personally, I can’t get over the image of one of TV’s most buttoned-up characters blowing off steam. A lot of steam.
As Sam mentioned yesterday, we at NOTY are flooded with emails, tweets, and suggestions that point us to names that amount to little more than obvious sex jokes — your Dick Pounds, your B.J. Cummings, your Long Wangs. We’ve become numb to this sort of easy gag; it takes something special for a dirty name to bring light to our jaded eyes. In this regard, Northwestern WildcatLeo Moses Spornstarr has all the right intangibles. Innocuous start, religious figure, and then BOOM. It sneaks up on you.
Spornstarr’s opponent is Viking-turned-FriarJunior Lomomba. Junior, who plays small forward on the Providence College basketball team, is actually a sophomore. He’s “known as a physical player and strong on-ball defender.” On both these fronts, we can’t help but ask: more than a Spornstarr?
With that, we’ve officially introduced all our contenders. As always, voting ends Sunday at midnight. Next week, we’ll get started on Round 2, beginning in the Bulltron. Name on!