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Dragonwagon Regional, Sweet Sixteen: #1 Dr. Suparman Marzuki vs. #4 Smokey Don Pipes, #3 Sincere Shears vs. #10 Leila Bossy-Nobs

We’re halfway through the Sweet Sixteen! That was fast. Here’s our Twitter.

Four seed Smokey Don Pipes may be the nominal underdog in our first matchup of the day, but the Oklahoman has looked like a top contender through two rounds. After a round one walk, he pasted Twollie Vanderwerf last week in a one-sided wout. His Sweet Sixteen opponent, Dr. Suparman Marzuki, took down Dusty Rust in his last matchup, but the Indonesian politician is in for a dogfight this time around. I’m half-expecting him to fly backwards around the Earth a couple times so he can spam the site with votes for Twollie.

Elsewhere, Leila Bossy-Nobs will try to become the first double digit seed to make this year’s Elite Eight after her shocking defeat of Jackmeoff Mudd. I’m on the record as a huge fan of hers, so I’m glad to see her spring a pair of upsets. That being said, I won’t be unhappy if she falls to Sincere Shears, who won a tough battle last round against strong six seed Gorby Loreus. May the best name win.


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Dragonwagon Regional Round 2: #1 Dr. Suparman Marzuki vs. #8 Dusty Rust; #5 Twollie Vanderwerf vs. #4 Smokey Don Pipes

Just 24 names remain in the 2013 Name of the Year tournament. By the end of this week, we will be down to 16.

Another top seed is under fire as Dr. Suparman Marzuki moves past his triumph over Dickie Lee Hullinghorst to battle Dusty Rust, the dispatcher of Blaze Caponegro. Suparman has few weaknesses, but Mr. Rust may be able to exploit one of them if his dust happens to be of the crushed-up kryptonite variety. Can the Louisianian college football player pull the upset?

Elsewhere, Smokey Don Pipes will look to follow up his commanding round one victory over Dreamius Smith by taking out Twollie Vanderwerf.  Smokey Don seems like an awfully strong four seed at this point; he’s the 2013 Michigan Wolverines of our bracket. Twollie, who previously outlasted Necho Beard, is simply a Minnesota man whose name was submitted by his wife. He may not have the bravado of his opponent, but he has the modest backstory needed to spin a textbook David vs. Goliath tale.

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Dragonwagon Regional, Round 1: #1 Dr. Suparman Marzuki vs. #16 Dickie Lee Hullinghorst, #8 Dusty Rust vs. #9 Blaze Caponegro

We’ve passed the halfway point of the first round of the 2013 Name of the Year tournament. As always, a reminder to follow us on Twitter for all pertinent updates.

Up first is a one seed with superheroic qualities. His name is Dr. Suparman Marzuki, and he is the head of Indonesia’s Judicial Commission, which is tasked with overseeing judges and justices. Recent reports claimed Suparman gained the office through a shady backroom deal, though I like to thing he simply incinerated all of the other candidates with his laser vision.

Suparman is actually a fairly common name in Indonesia; the previous Judicial Commission chairman was himself named Eman Suparman. In scouring the Internet for Suparmans, we found the likes of Suparman Suparman, Suparman Widjaja, and the well-documented legend of Batman bin Suparman, whose actual existence we couldn’t incontrovertibly prove.

Marzuki’s opponent is Dickie Lee Hullinghorst, the Democratic House Leader of the Colorado House of Representatives. She’s been quoted on a wide range of topics, including energy, voter reform, and education. We hoped she has used her downtime during the government shutdown to gather voter support (for NOTY, that is).

Will Dickie Lee serve as Kryptonite and pull the monumental upset over Suparman? The poll is below.

While we expect Suparman to roll, our second matchup of the day will be significantly closer. Once again, it’s a matchup of one-time college athletes, and the betting line is even between football lettermen Dusty Rust and Blaze Caponegro.

Rust graduated from Louisiana Tech in 2011 after four years at linebacker. We can only assume he then rowed back to the heart of the bayou, where he now sits on a log all day, plays banjo, and writes songs about the magical adventures of his alter ego, Rusty Dust. While his full name is Durward Rust III, we’ll allow him to go by Dusty, as it is a common nickname for Durwards everywhere.

As for Blaze, he continues to live the college life as a senior linebacker for the Temple Owls. Though Blaze is currently a starter, he has overcome a number of different physical issues to reach that role, including his undersized frame, a bout with mononucleosis, a shoulder surgery, and a bad stomach virus. Many of us would give in to these trials, but Blaze has a fire burning inside both his heart and his name. We wish him luck on the rest of the 2013 season, and we can only hope he one day meets Blake Blaze in a conflagration of fotballing prowess.

Who wins this tightly contested matchup? Dusty or Blaze? We await your vote.

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