This is it. This is the week we’ve all been waiting for. The Final Four begins today, with the Final commencing on Thursday. GET HYPE…AND FOLLOW US ON TWITTER.
For a while, it seemed as if Pornsak Pongthong wouldn’t make it past the monumental challenge of Yolanda Squatpump. Ultimately, he was able to outlast her and become the Bulltron Regional’s Final Four representative. As the sole one seed remaining in the field, Pornsak has to be considered the odds-on favorite to emerge victorious.
That being said, each entrant in the Final Four has proved his name to be elite, and no favorite is safe. In order to make the final, Pornsak will have to get past McWisdom Badejo, who beat Baby Swinger in the Elite Eight and won the Sithole Regional. McWisdom has already toppled one top seed; will he make it two? Which athlete will prevail?
On the other side of the bracket, Smokey Don Pipes was able to move on thanks to the closest match of our tournament, which ended in a tie and had to be decided in a 90-minute overtime. Smokey Don’s victory is a reminder that every vote counts. If our overtime voters had preferred Leila Bossy-Nobs‘ chuckle-inducing last name to her opponent’s mellifluous moniker, the Frenchwoman would have completed an improbable run to the Final Four. Instead, Smokey Don represents the Dragonwagon Regional.
He is up against Leo Moses Spornstarr, who emerged victorious by a healthy margin over one-seed Fancy English, Jr. and will represent the Chrotchtangle Regional in the Final Four.Leo is one of three Final Four contestants aged 26 or younger; has NOTY become a young man’s game? Will Leo’s youth lead the way against the decidedly riper Smokey? You decide forthwith.
Well, after several weeks of upsets, scares, and near-misses, both the Bulltron and Sithole Regionals are now down to the top two seeds. Both are shaping up to be titanic struggles. As a reminder, we will post two matchups today, two tomorrow, and then give you guys the rest of the week to decide the Final Four. You’ve all done a great job so far (especially those of you who have followed us on Twitter.)
First up is our Clash of the Titans. It’s our Duke vs. Kentucky, our Nimpson vs. Bloodsaw, our Goku vs. Vegeta, our Lincoln vs. Douglas. In one corner: Pornsak Pongthong, Thai football defender, #1 seed, hotter than a plate of Pad Kee Mao. In the other: Yolanda Squatpump, ascendant challenger, The Usual Suspects makeup artist, and workout champion of the Bulltron. Only one of these names can reach the Final Four. Who will it be?
The Sithole regional’s two titans are also set for an absolute dogfight. Baby Swinger looked dead in the water against Norman Conquest, but she managed to swing the voting in her favor as if it were a newborn child. Now, she faces her hardest test yet: McWisdom Badejo, who has rolled through three rounds without being significantly tested. Methinks he’ll get his first challenge this week.
The mensches over at the Filmdrunk Frotcast, who’ve been following along with our game, commented a while ago that the Sithole was the weakest region of the bracket. This is becoming clearer as we separate the wheat from the chaff. We’re not losing sleep over it; no bracket is perfectly balanced.
Starting off the Sithole Sweet Sixteen is Baby Swinger, who took out Octavia Sheepshanks without much fuss. She’s up against Norman Conquest, who last round upset Konockus Sashington, a name I still have trouble saying with a straight face. Who wins?
Elsewhere, McWisdom Badejo‘s rout of Syndric Steptoe was unexpectedly decisive; I thought Syndric had more fight in him. He’ll probably have a harder time with Pooky Amsterdam, who’s got some solid momentum.
It’s the battle of the European cities today with Amsterdam taking on Florence in the first matchup. Pooky, the 6-seed, is fresh off a rout of Dr. Twigs Way, but upstart 14-seed Fabricant is looking for blood after her photo finish against #3 Koovasky Zapata. FloFab is one of only two 14-seeds to make it to round 2 (the other is fan favorite Ram Amandeep). But can she put a stop to the unyielding momentum of Pooky Amsterdam?
Today’s second matchup also pits a low-seeded upset winner against a relative heavy, though in neither case is the outcome a foregone conclusion. The bottom of the Sithole sees McWisdom Badejo facing off against fellow athlete Syndric Steptoe. Steptoe’s already-pleasing name becomes funnier when you consider that as a receiver he’s undoubtedly done a lot of toe-stepping by the sidelines of the football field. Meanwhile, McWisdom is named McWisdom.
As always, voting ends Sunday at midnight, so cast your ballots before then.
Today’s first matchup is a clash of football players. First up is running back Montana Bencomo, who ironically plays for New Mexico State. He’s up against the far more aptly-named Syndric Steptoe, whose fleetness of foot led to a career as a wide receiver for the Edmonton Eskimos. Perhaps his name helped with those extra ten yards.
Rounding out the Sithole, we’ve got Florida A&M center and presumed Scottish guru McWisdom Badejo. It’s possible that his parents were shooting for a damning commentary on the state of higher education — that said, the dollar menu never left anyone with years’ worth of crippling debt. Badejo’s opponent this week is Baybars Hamzat, who’s got another one of those names you need to say aloud to really appreciate. It conjures an elephant in a yellow Tyvek suit, passed through a baby-talk filter.
That’s the end of the Sithole, which means that we’re halfway finished introducing our bracket. Round 1 voting for this week concludes at midnight on Sunday night. As always, follow us on Twitter for updates.